Stillness in my heart comes most easily when he is still, asleep.  I long for this at the end of the day, as much as I miss his face while sleeping. The trick is how to find it while he wants to nurse AGAIN instead of sleep and dinner is late or burnt and the kids are at each other (one being a very moody tween girl with little to no tolerance for the tom-foolery of her brothers), and the daddy is out of town for three nights.  Certainly stillness of heart and mind eludes me then and I am not thinking about enjoying each moment, savoring their small faces and endless questions.  This wise post on enjoying motherhood gave me a refreshed perspective. But I do truly want to enjoy, find the beauty and grace in all the moments, even the hard ones. I know it’s there for the taking. Perhaps thinking in terms of kairos, God-time, outside of time, instead of counting chronos, clock-time is the key. After all, I know the days are long but the years are short.

JMU

Solstice-to-solstice: Stillness

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